So, my little bird, this is the beginning of your story...
The Girl
As soon as the ultrasound tech started she said she knew what sex you were... I thought for sure you were a boy. Dada said he knew too...I thought for sure you were a boy. Dada, Bear and I went in thinking we were going to have it written down and we would all open it at Christmas! I couldn't wait... as soon as the tech and Dada told me they knew the sex... I caved! It's a girl!!! I couldn't believe my ears. My cheeks were wet with tears. I began imagining amazing things for you...
The first trimester and then some I was soooo sick. I couldn't get enough to eat and everything made me nauseas! I was determined to have an extremely healthy and fit pregnancy despite my sickness! Auntie Christel, Bear and I would either walk or do yoga almost 5 days a week and I could feel myself getting much stronger than my first pregnancy. I would take Bear to Grannas and rest there and then go to work! You were really using all my strength to grow you. Dada, Granna, Auntie and Bear all took REALLY good care of me while you grew inside of me because we all knew that when you arrived you would be amazing!
The Name
Your name was always something very important to me. Since Dad got the final decision for Barrett, I got the final for you! It would keep me up at night wonderingif I would name you the right name! From the beginning Dada and I couldn'd agree on any names; Violet, Charlotte, Beatrice, Carly, Aurora, Rose, Bella, Maybelle and many more were debated for weeks! Just when we thought we had it... we would change our minds! When we were pregnant with Bear, Grandpop Dave suggested Brighten for a boy or girl! We both liked it but thought it was more suited for a girl. Then we had all but forgotten about it! Up until your delivery we thought you were going to be named Dova Rose Beecroft! Dova, after Mimi Anne's mom, and Rose, after my middle name and also share it with your great aunt Leah, Aunt Kiersten, cousins Analeah and Abigail, not to mention it was my Papa Murphy's mom and sister's name! Whew! Needless to say... we didn't name you that! We also wanted a strong name with a fun nick-name like your brother: Barrett "Bear"! I thought Birdie was an adorable nick-name all along but we needed just the right first name for it!
You had several due dates based on mommy's belly size and ultrasounds! At one point they told me a month before you were born that you were already 7 lbs and that you would be at least an eight pound baby! Large baby girls run in the family... me, Auntie Gen and Aunt Dani were all 7 lbs, 11ozs!
The Soundtrack
During my labor with Bear I regretted not playing my music during the marathon labor in the hospital so I was determined to have some music ready for your labor! Your dad worked long and hard putting together a playlist full of music sang and written by strong, amazing women. He named it my "Labor Party Mix." I couldn't wait to let my favorites sing me through me tough moments!
The Birth
From the beginning your dad and I discussed and wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). As I read more and more about it... I felt that the risks and complications for a c-section again were much higher that trying to give birth to you all naturally. I had LOTS of support from our family (especially Granna Chris who had assisted in dozens of VBACs in her life!). My Dr.s were also supportive as long as I did not become high risk! I made damn sure that didnt happen! I had 4 female doctors that would potentially deliver you and I spoke with them all about my decision for a VBAC and they supported it! The biggest struggle I could foresee would be when I got admitted to the hospital they told me I would have to be constantly monitored so I couldn't be up and moving around for an active labor! So I decided I would stay at home as long as possible to labor in comfort and calm.
On Thursday, May 3rd, 2012, in the evening I sat down for another few hours of your gymnastics inside my belly. At the end, every evening you would kick and punch so hard my belly would jump around and I would be knocked from side to side! This was very different from Bear... I rarely felt him move at the end. This night your dad watched in amazement. He wanted to take your carseat out of the car for one of his many projects the next day. I told him I was feeling like he should leave the carseat in the car! While I had been feeling small Braxton Hicks and contractions for weeks I felt like these ones were different but I didn't want to concern anyone. We decided that of this WAS it tehn we should go to bed and rest...rest, hah! Dad rested while I layed next to him feeling my stomach slowly tighten harder and harder with each contraction. Since I had done this once before I actually tried to enjoy this early labor and just think about how amazing my body was to be able to do this!
I called Granna before bed and Dave texted Mimi and Aunt Dani just to give everyone a heads up as they were the crew for Bear while we were in the hospital that! At about 2am my contractions started keeping me awake and Granna came over at 2:30am. I labored mostly on the couch trying to keep from laying down. At no time was I concerned about the complications of a VBAC... I felt like I knew I should only focus on the positive and the prize at the end which was you! By 4am I felt slight urges to push and Granna urged us to go to the hospital... I was so scared because I went to the hospital about the same time during Bear's labor and I was barely 2 cm when I arrived! I did not want to labor on my back in the hospital bed! Thankfully, Aunt Dani arrived shortly after carrying lovely pink roses... a foreshadowing of my lovely girl. Granna, Dad and I jumped (ok, I waddled slowly and carefully!) into the car and we got down the street and realized we forgot our camera! I told Dad he couldn't go back since my urge to push was becoming more and more intense by the minute!
When we arrived at the hospital (thankfully it is 4 miles away!) it felt like a whirlwind and very surreal. As we boarded the elevator I had a crazy contraction that made me let out a very animalistic cry and a couple that happened to share the elevator with us thought I was going to have you right then and there! There faces were priceless! When we arrived to the labor and delivery floor I walked out and the nurses began casually and what felt like extremely sloth-like asking me for all my pertinent information... "Did I mention that I FEEL LIKE PUSHING?!!!!" At that point the paid attention and I was given a room, told I was 6 cm dilated and didn't have much time to react before my water broke and it was on from there! All the while, contractions are making me want to curl up in a tiny ball and be on a painkiller drip! I kept reminding myself of you and it kept me focused. I also kept thinking of the challenge would be going through transition strapped to the bed but Dad and Granna were tough and strong right along with me.
The Delivery
20 minutes later they checked me and I was 8 cm! The contraction pain was jarring from my back to my hips and through my legs. I looked at Granna and said I can't do this any more and she said "Have a little cry and then YOU ARE DOING THIS! YOU ARE ALMOST THERE!!" For a moment I let myself have a pity party and then I was back into it again! 20 minutes later I was almost 10 cm and I have never felt the urge to push as bad as I did right then. Up until this point I had been fighting back the urge with breathing and focusing on Dad and Granna. I couldn't stop any more. I started pushing. The nurse didn't stop me. She simply called for the doctor. On this particular day female doctor was sick and the OB/GYN that stepped in was a man I had never met before and clearly I had just woken up from a deep sleep! He walked in and slapped on some gloves and sat down. 5 rock star pushes later, you were out! I had done it! I had my perfect baby girl by VBAC... And we never had time to turn on the Labor Party Mix!!!
Back to the Name
In the instant that you came out and they brought you to me on my left side I saw your bright face and hair the color of the sun and I knew I had to name you Brighton. As you layed perfect on my chest I looked at your dad and said "can we name her Brighton Dova?" And he responded with, "you can name her whatever you want after that!". After being in the hospital for an hour and half I successfully birthed you, my beautiful, bright baby girl. I have never been so proud of myself and felt a whole other kind of love for you, my daughter. You are three months old now and I dream every day of all the amazing things you will do in your life! Welcome to the world; carpe diem!
